1 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:06,568 Here's what you missed on Shameless last week. 2 00:00:07,870 --> 00:00:09,838 I got really drunk. 3 00:00:11,106 --> 00:00:13,709 And I'm not sure what happened after that. 4 00:00:14,109 --> 00:00:16,011 What the hell is he doing here? 5 00:00:16,144 --> 00:00:18,981 I can't afford to live somewhere else and support you two. 6 00:00:19,114 --> 00:00:20,749 -Hi, Frank. -Shit! 7 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,586 - Who the fuck's Tony? - Tony, sweet. 8 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,655 The cars I sell are mainly not mine. 9 00:00:26,788 --> 00:00:27,923 I like you, Fiona. 10 00:00:30,125 --> 00:00:31,627 You remember Steve? 11 00:00:33,862 --> 00:00:34,930 Yeah, how's it going? 12 00:00:35,097 --> 00:00:38,000 She doesn't care if you have a girlfriend. Neither do I. 13 00:00:38,133 --> 00:00:39,735 -I'm getting married. -You what? 14 00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,270 - Yeah! - Ha, ha. 15 00:00:41,603 --> 00:00:43,939 Veronica, will you do me the honor of being my wife? 16 00:00:44,106 --> 00:00:45,874 - Yes! - You don't seem very happy... 17 00:00:46,008 --> 00:00:49,211 -...to be getting married. -It's because I'm already married. 18 00:02:00,849 --> 00:02:03,685 I wasn't thinking about getting married. He brought it up. 19 00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,355 Now I'm, like, obsessed. Phillips. 20 00:02:06,688 --> 00:02:08,223 Wasn't he drunk when he proposed? 21 00:02:08,357 --> 00:02:12,728 Yeah, it was like that David Hasselhoff video, eating a cheeseburger. 22 00:02:12,861 --> 00:02:15,297 -I never saw that. -Oh, YouTube it, it's a car wreck. 23 00:02:15,631 --> 00:02:17,132 You can't not watch. 24 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:21,370 You want a drunk proposal to be the story you tell your grand-kids? 25 00:02:21,703 --> 00:02:24,640 My husband proposed to me at the top of the Sears Tower. 26 00:02:24,806 --> 00:02:26,975 Champagne and roses. 27 00:02:27,109 --> 00:02:31,246 Six months into the marriage I found out he was fucking my sister. 28 00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:35,651 -And the moral of the story is? -My sister's a bitch. 29 00:02:35,817 --> 00:02:39,121 Other than presents and booze, give three reasons to get married. 30 00:02:39,254 --> 00:02:42,290 Lots of people who love each other get married every day, Fiona. 31 00:02:44,259 --> 00:02:47,729 I don't know, V. The way things are between you and Kevin right now... 32 00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:51,266 ...it seems perfect. Why ruin it? 33 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,882 What do you get for that? 34 00:03:07,015 --> 00:03:09,751 -What? -What are they paying... 35 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,887 ...for the neck thing? Disability. 36 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:14,923 Six hundred seventy-four bucks a month. 37 00:03:17,759 --> 00:03:20,328 That's what I get, heh. 38 00:03:21,029 --> 00:03:23,165 But look, I can do this: 39 00:03:37,312 --> 00:03:42,317 While I admire your commitment, I gotta tell you, it's a bit over the top. 40 00:03:48,190 --> 00:03:51,059 I told them I get migraines. 41 00:03:51,193 --> 00:03:53,195 -Genius, huh? -Huh? 42 00:03:53,328 --> 00:03:56,098 -Try proving I don't have them, heh. -Ugh. 43 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,937 I bet it itches like you got crabs in there. 44 00:04:14,516 --> 00:04:16,818 Kev, come out. 45 00:04:18,987 --> 00:04:21,423 -You done? -Why are we getting married? 46 00:04:21,757 --> 00:04:24,025 -What? -Other than the presents and the booze... 47 00:04:24,159 --> 00:04:27,496 ...can you tell me three good reasons why you want to get married? 48 00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:30,365 Not really. Wait a minute. 49 00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:34,269 This isn't one of those tests, is it? Where I'm supposed to change your mind? 50 00:04:34,402 --> 00:04:36,505 Heh, if it is, you just failed. 51 00:04:36,838 --> 00:04:38,507 You don't want to get married? 52 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:42,177 I mean, things between us are pretty great. I don't want to ruin it. 53 00:04:42,344 --> 00:04:44,913 -What would we tell people? -That the wedding's off. 54 00:04:45,046 --> 00:04:47,783 -No one's damn business why. -Yeah? 55 00:04:47,949 --> 00:04:51,419 -Yeah. -Well, great, then. 56 00:04:55,257 --> 00:04:57,993 -Guess I gotta tell Mama. -Oh, yeah. 57 00:04:58,126 --> 00:04:59,461 That's gonna suck. 58 00:04:59,795 --> 00:05:03,131 She's on her way over to talk about the blessed event. 59 00:05:03,965 --> 00:05:07,002 I am gonna miss getting a free KitchenAid mixer. 60 00:05:07,135 --> 00:05:09,871 Can you register for gifts if you're not getting married? 61 00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:12,440 -I got a gift for you. Mm-hm. -Yeah? 62 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,881 Here comes the bride 63 00:05:20,015 --> 00:05:21,883 All dressed in white 64 00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:24,419 Which I think you can still get away with, baby. 65 00:05:26,288 --> 00:05:28,056 Hey, Mama. 66 00:05:30,292 --> 00:05:32,894 Oh, I can't believe it. Oh, I can't believe it! 67 00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,430 I can't believe this. What happened? 68 00:05:35,564 --> 00:05:38,033 -Nothing happened. -How could you do this to me? 69 00:05:38,166 --> 00:05:41,036 Look, nothing's gonna change. Kev and I are still together. 70 00:05:41,169 --> 00:05:43,905 -Yeah, Mama... -Don't call me "Mama." 71 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:46,508 We're just cutting out all the paperwork. Right? 72 00:05:46,841 --> 00:05:49,978 You know, and besides, until gay people... 73 00:05:50,111 --> 00:05:52,214 ...can get married in this state... 74 00:05:53,615 --> 00:05:55,050 ...I'm not gonna. 75 00:05:55,183 --> 00:05:58,320 This isn't what your father wants. You know that, don't you? 76 00:05:58,453 --> 00:06:00,188 Daddy's dead. He doesn't want anything. 77 00:06:00,322 --> 00:06:04,459 Your daddy, rest his soul, wants to see his little girl married. 78 00:06:04,593 --> 00:06:07,229 -Look, Mama, all... -He set a little something aside... 79 00:06:07,362 --> 00:06:09,497 ...for you for once you finally settled down. 80 00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:11,533 -A little what? -Daddy left you money... 81 00:06:11,866 --> 00:06:14,502 ...for your first home once you got married. 82 00:06:14,636 --> 00:06:16,638 -A house? -He thought it might keep you... 83 00:06:16,972 --> 00:06:19,341 - ...from being somebody's baby-mama. - How much? 84 00:06:19,474 --> 00:06:23,345 I don't know, he wanted the envelope opened on your wedding day. 85 00:06:23,478 --> 00:06:25,947 Now I guess we'll never know. 86 00:06:26,948 --> 00:06:29,884 I just... I never knew how much it meant to Daddy. 87 00:06:30,051 --> 00:06:32,354 The world. 88 00:06:32,487 --> 00:06:34,389 Maybe we should reconsider, babe. 89 00:06:34,522 --> 00:06:36,524 Heh, but what about the gay people? 90 00:06:36,658 --> 00:06:39,127 They got their parades, they can wait. 91 00:06:41,229 --> 00:06:44,966 It's hot. I'm hot. Ahem, are you guys hot? 92 00:06:48,069 --> 00:06:49,237 Hot. 93 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,175 - Fiona. - Coming. 94 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,423 - Hi. - Hey. 95 00:07:08,556 --> 00:07:11,126 -Oh, it's fresh? -And clean as a whistle. 96 00:07:11,259 --> 00:07:14,329 Thanks, Fiona. You have no idea what this means to me. 97 00:07:14,496 --> 00:07:18,133 Means you get to smoke weed and keep your government job and I get to eat. 98 00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:20,568 It's lasagna, straight from the oven. Still warm. 99 00:07:20,702 --> 00:07:23,438 So is this. Keep it that way if you wanna pass. 100 00:07:23,571 --> 00:07:28,944 -Lunch. Eat it or miss it, people. -Thanks. Bye. 101 00:07:29,110 --> 00:07:31,146 - What, more piss food? - You know it. 102 00:07:31,279 --> 00:07:32,714 All right. 103 00:07:34,683 --> 00:07:36,718 - Cup-a-lasagna, anyone? - Right here. 104 00:07:37,052 --> 00:07:41,156 - Who was on dishes today? - Uh, I'll get them after lunch. 105 00:07:41,289 --> 00:07:42,457 Hey, Debs... 106 00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:45,060 - ...you ready to go to Target? - Oh, yeah. Sure. 107 00:07:45,193 --> 00:07:46,962 What's that smell? 108 00:07:47,128 --> 00:07:50,532 -It's either vomit or fancy cheese. -It can be both if you want. 109 00:07:51,232 --> 00:07:54,436 - Target? - Debs is gonna go help me register gifts. 110 00:07:54,569 --> 00:07:55,737 Mm, good. 111 00:07:56,071 --> 00:07:58,606 -I thought the wedding was off. -Back on. 112 00:07:59,975 --> 00:08:01,242 - Kev know? - Mm-hm. 113 00:08:01,977 --> 00:08:03,378 Oh. 114 00:08:03,745 --> 00:08:05,981 -Hey. -Damn. 115 00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:10,552 Tell that girl I will crap on a paper plate for her if it gets me some of this grub. 116 00:08:23,565 --> 00:08:25,767 - Francis Gallagher. - Yeah. 117 00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,643 Drop your pants. 118 00:08:35,777 --> 00:08:39,647 I don't see how that has any bearings on my migraines. 119 00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:43,084 Me neither, but it's on the state form. 120 00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:44,252 Drop them, sailor. 121 00:08:47,422 --> 00:08:50,358 -Yeah. Unh. -Still cold, ha, ha. 122 00:08:50,492 --> 00:08:51,626 -Cough. -Ahem. 123 00:08:52,427 --> 00:08:53,495 Again. 124 00:08:54,763 --> 00:08:55,797 Again. 125 00:08:57,399 --> 00:08:58,533 That's weird. 126 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:02,504 Have you ever done a testicular self-examination? 127 00:09:02,637 --> 00:09:06,307 Oh, God, no. I say leave those three bad boys down there alone. 128 00:09:06,441 --> 00:09:08,309 Yeah, well, that's the problem. 129 00:09:08,443 --> 00:09:11,413 Should only be two testicles invited to this party. 130 00:09:11,546 --> 00:09:13,782 - What's this? - I need you and your testicles... 131 00:09:14,115 --> 00:09:15,784 ...back here tomorrow for a biopsy. 132 00:09:16,117 --> 00:09:19,120 So I got an extra passenger onboard, what's the big deal? 133 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,189 -Normal number's two. -Not for me. 134 00:09:21,322 --> 00:09:24,292 Third guy's always been there. He's my lucky charm. Gave me six kids. 135 00:09:24,426 --> 00:09:25,660 Hmm. 136 00:09:26,161 --> 00:09:28,129 Probably benign, then. 137 00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:31,399 You're smart not to worry until you do a biopsy. 138 00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:33,535 Gives you something to worry about. 139 00:09:42,811 --> 00:09:45,346 Uh, you can't bring a baby into a bar, ma'am. 140 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,549 You can't get married if you already are. 141 00:09:47,682 --> 00:09:49,217 I know, I know. 142 00:09:49,350 --> 00:09:51,419 -Why the hell doesn't she know? -Because. 143 00:09:51,553 --> 00:09:53,288 -I'm afraid to tell her. -Kev! 144 00:09:53,421 --> 00:09:56,825 I don't wanna make her sad, Fi. It would break my heart to hurt her. 145 00:09:57,759 --> 00:10:01,863 Just tell her the truth, Kev. If you don't, I will. 146 00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,168 Can you hit me with a milk refill? 147 00:10:08,703 --> 00:10:12,107 The devil's in my balls, Billy. And he's coming for the rest of me. 148 00:10:12,273 --> 00:10:14,476 - Let's hope he can swim. - Why, Billy? 149 00:10:14,609 --> 00:10:15,710 Why me? 150 00:10:15,844 --> 00:10:20,615 -Because you're an asshole, Frank. -Doc says it's probably benign. 151 00:10:20,748 --> 00:10:23,718 Look at Lance Armstrong, he had that ball cancer. 152 00:10:23,852 --> 00:10:27,856 -Ends up fucking a rock star. -That's right. That's... See? 153 00:10:28,189 --> 00:10:30,458 - Hey, baby. - Hey, hey! 154 00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:32,861 -Mm-hm. -How you doing? 155 00:10:33,194 --> 00:10:34,496 Okay, I know this is silly. 156 00:10:34,629 --> 00:10:37,899 But I'm really starting to get excited about this whole wedding thing. 157 00:10:38,233 --> 00:10:41,769 The gifts and the wedding, and being Mrs. Kevin Ball. 158 00:10:43,538 --> 00:10:45,507 You know old man Parson's place on 5th? 159 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:48,376 -I think we should buy it. -What? 160 00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:51,279 The one where the son went crazy and hit him with an ax? 161 00:10:51,412 --> 00:10:54,249 It's for sale. We should start getting our stuff together. 162 00:10:54,382 --> 00:10:57,519 All the loans and credit scores and all that. 163 00:10:57,652 --> 00:10:58,920 What's the matter, babe? 164 00:10:59,254 --> 00:11:02,323 I'm sure they got the blood cleaned up by now. 165 00:11:07,662 --> 00:11:09,631 I can't marry you, Veronica. 166 00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:14,903 I'm already married. 167 00:11:17,505 --> 00:11:19,774 She's beautiful. 168 00:11:20,542 --> 00:11:22,844 She's a head-case. She used to throw plates at me. 169 00:11:23,177 --> 00:11:26,381 Couldn't handle her booze. That's how I got scars on my neck. 170 00:11:26,514 --> 00:11:29,784 You have no idea how many times I wanted to tell you over the years. 171 00:11:29,918 --> 00:11:33,388 But the more time went on, the more unreal it all seemed. 172 00:11:35,256 --> 00:11:37,358 You look like a douche bag with that mullet. 173 00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:41,329 Oh, I can't believe this. 174 00:11:41,462 --> 00:11:43,398 Guess we can forget about buying a house. 175 00:11:43,531 --> 00:11:44,933 Yeah. 176 00:11:45,266 --> 00:11:47,468 - Maybe not. - What do you mean? 177 00:11:47,602 --> 00:11:50,972 You don't actually have to get married. Your mom wants a wedding. 178 00:11:51,306 --> 00:11:53,808 So give her one. 179 00:11:53,942 --> 00:11:55,810 I could get ordained online. 180 00:11:55,944 --> 00:11:58,346 Then we don't file the license with the state. 181 00:11:58,479 --> 00:12:00,214 -Ha-ha-ha. -A fake wedding. 182 00:12:02,483 --> 00:12:06,220 Why not? You'd still be married. It just won't be legal. 183 00:12:06,588 --> 00:12:09,557 -Yeah, but what's the point, then? -All the free shit, baby. 184 00:12:11,492 --> 00:12:13,895 -Oh, damn. That would've sucked. -Baby, come on. 185 00:12:14,228 --> 00:12:17,498 Showing up at your wedding fucking paralyzed and shit? Yeah. 186 00:12:17,632 --> 00:12:19,000 Oh, shit. 187 00:12:20,969 --> 00:12:24,606 It looks a bit like Top Ramen in there, doesn't it? 188 00:12:26,874 --> 00:12:30,979 Sweetie, would you like me to come with you to your biopsy? 189 00:12:31,312 --> 00:12:33,381 No, it's probably nothing. 190 00:12:33,514 --> 00:12:35,783 A benign cyst. An ingrown hair. 191 00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:37,785 Yes, I think you're right. 192 00:12:37,919 --> 00:12:40,855 You're gonna be just fine. 193 00:12:44,859 --> 00:12:46,361 Why the hell are you crying? 194 00:12:51,899 --> 00:12:54,902 I knew it was too good to be true. 195 00:12:55,036 --> 00:12:56,604 You're gonna die. 196 00:12:56,738 --> 00:13:00,341 Jesus, Sheila. I'm not gonna die. I haven't even had the biopsy yet. 197 00:13:00,475 --> 00:13:04,012 It was probably that nut-vise sex toy of hers that gave you the damn cancer. 198 00:13:04,345 --> 00:13:06,781 I'm gonna need the house next week for Bible study. 199 00:13:06,914 --> 00:13:10,752 We're doing the Passion play again. Might get noisy. 200 00:13:19,761 --> 00:13:22,664 I have two plots... 201 00:13:22,797 --> 00:13:24,399 ...at Oak Woods Cemetery. 202 00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:26,034 One was for Eddie. 203 00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:31,639 Nothing would make me happier than to bury you in one of them. 204 00:13:32,473 --> 00:13:34,642 Wait there for me. 205 00:13:35,476 --> 00:13:37,078 Oh, God. 206 00:13:37,412 --> 00:13:38,913 I'm gonna die. 207 00:13:41,382 --> 00:13:43,918 He married your father and I, Aunt Rochelle, Uncle Bobby. 208 00:13:44,052 --> 00:13:47,321 And cousin Jimmy with that first wife, with the cleft palate. 209 00:13:47,488 --> 00:13:50,825 A cleft palate is merely the mark God leaves... 210 00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:53,928 ...when he kisses a person before they're born. 211 00:13:54,062 --> 00:13:56,064 Girl's mama just skipped the folic acid. 212 00:13:56,397 --> 00:14:01,869 I'm gonna need you both to come to my weekend Engagement Encounter retreat. 213 00:14:02,003 --> 00:14:04,806 It covers all of the Pre-Cana material... 214 00:14:04,939 --> 00:14:08,009 ...necessary for you to get married with God's blessing. 215 00:14:08,342 --> 00:14:10,545 Uh, could you excuse us for just a second, please? 216 00:14:12,847 --> 00:14:14,949 Might be fun to do it at a church outing, huh? 217 00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:17,552 Veronica, that man in there is a priest. 218 00:14:17,685 --> 00:14:20,822 He's gonna require a license. A marriage license. 219 00:14:20,955 --> 00:14:24,092 I'm pretty sure bigamy is still a felony in the state of Illinois. 220 00:14:24,425 --> 00:14:26,361 Why'd you let your mom drag us here? 221 00:14:26,527 --> 00:14:28,696 -Mama wasn't gonna take no. -What about Fiona? 222 00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:31,432 -Wasn't she gonna marry us? -Relax, baby, I got this. 223 00:14:33,101 --> 00:14:36,437 Mama, we already have someone that's gonna do the wedding for us. 224 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,973 This some healing-hands, voodoo, wheat-grass jackass? 225 00:14:39,107 --> 00:14:42,443 Because that's not a wedding in the Lord's eyes. Tell them, Father. 226 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,780 Tell them that is not a wedding in the Lord's eyes. 227 00:14:45,947 --> 00:14:52,453 Well, I know this. That just like the honeybee, God has many eyes. 228 00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,491 Look, it has to be a priest. That's what your father wanted. 229 00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:58,993 That's what I want. And that's what the Lord wants. 230 00:15:01,629 --> 00:15:03,765 -Wedding's not gonna work. -What happened? 231 00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,600 Mama wants a real priest. 232 00:15:05,733 --> 00:15:07,735 Sheila said she'd make your wedding dress. 233 00:15:07,869 --> 00:15:11,472 Oh, that's nice, but what good is the dress if I don't have a priest? 234 00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:15,476 You could hire an actor. Remember the guy who played Elmo at my birthday? 235 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,912 -You remember that? -He took his head off. 236 00:15:18,045 --> 00:15:21,048 -It was traumatizing. -Think an actor could work? 237 00:15:21,182 --> 00:15:24,485 I can probably get Father Pete to do it, if Carl will help. 238 00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:28,523 -What's it gonna cost me? -Uh, Karen and I use your place Friday? 239 00:15:28,656 --> 00:15:31,159 -Done. -Father Pete? The groper? 240 00:15:31,492 --> 00:15:32,593 God willing. 241 00:15:33,027 --> 00:15:36,164 - We got hot dogs? - Mm, no hot dogs. 242 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,038 What? 243 00:15:49,777 --> 00:15:51,179 Excuse me. 244 00:15:51,512 --> 00:15:52,780 Better late than never. 245 00:15:52,914 --> 00:15:55,917 Even better on time. What's with the costume? 246 00:15:56,050 --> 00:15:58,920 ROTC. I made cadet lieutenant colonel today. 247 00:15:59,053 --> 00:16:00,788 -You did? That's great. -Yeah. 248 00:16:00,922 --> 00:16:02,790 Congratulations. When I get back... 249 00:16:02,924 --> 00:16:06,527 ...I want the new stock shelved with all the labels facing the same direction. 250 00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:09,564 -Where are you going? -Your head is like a funnel. 251 00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:12,533 -The Boy Scout trip is this weekend. -They have Muslim Boy Scouts? 252 00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,235 Similar. Motto is still "Be Prepared." 253 00:16:14,569 --> 00:16:17,071 But you learn how to work with chemicals instead of tying knots. 254 00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:20,675 The troop is sponsored by the Baptist church. 255 00:16:20,808 --> 00:16:22,844 They give us free outfits and overnights... 256 00:16:23,044 --> 00:16:26,080 ...and we let them think we're assimilating. Everybody wins. 257 00:16:26,214 --> 00:16:28,216 I'll be back Sunday night. 258 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:33,588 Lieutenant colonel? I am so proud of you. 259 00:16:33,721 --> 00:16:35,256 It's not that big of a deal. 260 00:16:35,656 --> 00:16:37,725 Linda and the boys are gone for two nights. 261 00:16:37,859 --> 00:16:40,728 We're gonna have a whole night together to celebrate. 262 00:17:01,015 --> 00:17:02,850 Unh, oh, God! 263 00:17:02,984 --> 00:17:05,887 -God, I'm sorry. -Oh, Jesus Christ. 264 00:17:06,087 --> 00:17:08,856 Was that the biopsy? God, right in the... 265 00:17:08,990 --> 00:17:10,992 Here, let's take a look. 266 00:17:11,259 --> 00:17:14,128 -Unh. -I'm just gonna take a look. 267 00:17:17,698 --> 00:17:20,868 Okay, well, that is definitely better. 268 00:17:21,903 --> 00:17:26,040 -I think you're okay. -Well, now, yeah. 269 00:17:26,173 --> 00:17:28,142 I'm just gonna shave you, okay? 270 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,315 I've never been shaved down there before. 271 00:17:34,715 --> 00:17:37,285 Just doing a small section. 272 00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:45,793 Okay. Oh. 273 00:17:45,927 --> 00:17:47,895 I'm sorry about that. 274 00:17:52,166 --> 00:17:55,770 Maybe I could come back later and you could shave the other two. 275 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:02,043 -There. All done. -Ooh. 276 00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:04,912 Feels like spring. 277 00:18:06,914 --> 00:18:09,917 Wish I could say this wasn't gonna hurt. 278 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:16,791 You don't have to go crazy, Sheila, but as close to Vera Wang as you can. 279 00:18:16,924 --> 00:18:19,060 You are going to make a beautiful bride. 280 00:18:19,193 --> 00:18:22,930 Oh, Sheila, you're making me feel like Cinderella. 281 00:18:23,064 --> 00:18:25,666 Screw Cinderella. Little doe-eyed bitch. 282 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,936 Probably one of the worst role models for little girls. 283 00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:31,672 I think Cinderella was a feminist. 284 00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:35,977 The whole idea of marriage is a useless vestige of an archaic civilization. 285 00:18:36,177 --> 00:18:39,213 -How would you know? -I watched one unravel. 286 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:43,217 Oh, so one example of a bad one makes them all bad? Hmm? 287 00:18:43,351 --> 00:18:46,988 Marriage was nothing more than a legal exchange of women for property. 288 00:18:47,188 --> 00:18:50,391 -Maybe you're being a little pessimistic. -Heh, it's just a piece of paper. 289 00:18:50,791 --> 00:18:53,694 A birth certificate is just a piece of paper. 290 00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:56,697 And money. Money is just a piece of paper. 291 00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:59,834 -But those are pretty valuable. -True. 292 00:18:59,967 --> 00:19:02,737 Hey, Gloria Steinem, enough of the blah-blah. 293 00:19:02,870 --> 00:19:05,706 -Let's talk bachelorette party. -I got that covered. 294 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,308 -Oh, you better. -Mm-hm. 295 00:19:07,642 --> 00:19:09,110 'Cause we gonna be doing it 296 00:19:09,243 --> 00:19:11,712 -Uh-huh. Mm-hm. -Single ladies, go on. 297 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:16,117 Feeling sick. Feeling tired. 298 00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:20,221 Seeing more of my oncologist than I see of my whole family. 299 00:19:21,255 --> 00:19:25,860 The hardest thing for me to accept is the fact that I can't fix this. 300 00:19:25,993 --> 00:19:28,396 I'm used to being the mom, you know? 301 00:19:28,729 --> 00:19:32,233 The one who takes care of everyone and everything. 302 00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:34,835 The fixer. 303 00:19:35,736 --> 00:19:38,005 And this is breast cancer. 304 00:19:38,139 --> 00:19:40,741 I can't fix this. 305 00:19:42,743 --> 00:19:46,147 Just knowing your tits are trying to kill you. 306 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,882 That's gotta suck. 307 00:19:48,749 --> 00:19:50,418 I mean, mine's in my balls. 308 00:19:50,751 --> 00:19:53,154 So they've got a reason to be pissed. 309 00:19:53,287 --> 00:19:57,024 Tucked between two legs, wedged right near your asshole. 310 00:19:57,158 --> 00:20:01,796 There's no good way to sit, no underwear that's been devised... 311 00:20:01,929 --> 00:20:04,799 ...to hold them effectively in place. 312 00:20:04,932 --> 00:20:07,802 They're a bizarre appendage. An afterthought. 313 00:20:07,935 --> 00:20:11,772 Which is why I don't believe in intelligent design. 314 00:20:12,339 --> 00:20:13,908 There is no God. 315 00:20:15,042 --> 00:20:17,311 We're all gonna die. 316 00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,451 Why do I have to do it? 317 00:20:23,784 --> 00:20:26,187 You're the only one young enough to be an altar boy. 318 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,055 We'll stop him before anything goes down. 319 00:20:28,189 --> 00:20:29,256 Or anyone. 320 00:20:34,795 --> 00:20:36,464 The Gallagher boys. 321 00:20:36,797 --> 00:20:39,366 If you're here to steal the offering basket, you're out of luck. 322 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,202 Already off to the bank. 323 00:20:41,335 --> 00:20:45,239 No, Carl here is interested in being an altar boy. 324 00:20:45,372 --> 00:20:48,809 -That's a big responsibility. -Yeah. We tried talking him out of it. 325 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:51,479 But he cried, so we thought we'd bring him in. 326 00:20:51,812 --> 00:20:54,081 See if you thought he had what it takes. 327 00:20:54,215 --> 00:20:55,483 Hello there, Carl. 328 00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:59,086 Be back for you in a bit, bud. 329 00:21:03,491 --> 00:21:05,893 - Whew. - Wanna watch Scarface again tonight? 330 00:21:06,026 --> 00:21:08,362 Can't, got a date. 331 00:21:08,829 --> 00:21:10,965 Ooh. Mandy date or Kash date? 332 00:21:11,532 --> 00:21:13,234 Kash date. 333 00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:15,836 You're a slut, man. 334 00:21:17,238 --> 00:21:18,506 Shit. 335 00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:24,111 Heh. Looks like we have a priest for V's wedding. 336 00:21:26,347 --> 00:21:28,516 -Fake priest? -No, no. Priest is real. 337 00:21:28,849 --> 00:21:30,985 We're just not gonna file the license. 338 00:21:31,118 --> 00:21:33,254 Immoral, don't you think? Lying to God's face. 339 00:21:33,387 --> 00:21:34,989 -Really? Mr. Morality? -Hmm. 340 00:21:35,122 --> 00:21:37,858 -Whose car is this? -Not like I have a priest in the back. 341 00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:40,995 -Are you still picking up the cake? -Angelica's Bakery. 342 00:21:41,128 --> 00:21:45,032 Can Kev and V use this car for their big exit after the reception? 343 00:21:45,533 --> 00:21:49,136 Yeah, think that could work. I just... I need it back right after. 344 00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:51,038 -Okay. -Can't do anything bad to it. 345 00:21:51,172 --> 00:21:52,873 And no sex in it. 346 00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:55,042 No sex in it? 347 00:21:56,977 --> 00:22:00,214 I just need this thing in perfect condition. All right, Fiona. I just... 348 00:22:01,582 --> 00:22:02,883 Whoa, whoa! 349 00:22:04,151 --> 00:22:05,286 - Damn it! - Jesus. 350 00:22:05,419 --> 00:22:07,154 Relax. Relax. It happens. 351 00:22:07,288 --> 00:22:09,890 -Okay? -Yeah, what happens, prison time? 352 00:22:20,301 --> 00:22:21,569 Hey. 353 00:22:21,902 --> 00:22:25,039 -Fiona, I thought that was you. -Your uniform looks different. 354 00:22:25,172 --> 00:22:27,575 Yeah, they issued new coats. 355 00:22:27,908 --> 00:22:30,077 See you at Kev and Veronica's wedding tomorrow? 356 00:22:30,211 --> 00:22:31,579 Yeah. 357 00:22:32,179 --> 00:22:34,915 -I need your license and registration. -What? Why? 358 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:37,051 Officer, sir. 359 00:22:37,184 --> 00:22:38,485 You were doing 35 in a 25. 360 00:22:38,619 --> 00:22:40,487 There was some swerving, kind of weird. 361 00:22:40,621 --> 00:22:43,324 Here's my license, but I don't have the registration. 362 00:22:43,457 --> 00:22:44,592 It's my friend's car. 363 00:22:44,925 --> 00:22:47,928 You really are supposed to have that on you at all times. 364 00:22:48,062 --> 00:22:50,097 Let me see what I can do. I'll be right back. 365 00:22:50,231 --> 00:22:52,466 Okay. Why did you give him your license? 366 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,069 -That's not my real license. -So now what? Run? 367 00:22:55,202 --> 00:22:57,071 No, that never works. 368 00:22:58,239 --> 00:23:01,208 Jesús, you got me? Yeah, thanks, buddy. 369 00:23:01,342 --> 00:23:03,377 -Who's Jesús? -Follow car. 370 00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:05,079 Always use a follow car. 371 00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:20,361 Watch your speed. See you at the wedding, Fi. 372 00:23:20,494 --> 00:23:23,097 -Okay! -Out. 373 00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:24,965 -What? -Get out. 374 00:23:30,371 --> 00:23:33,974 -What about the car? -Taken care of. 375 00:23:41,115 --> 00:23:44,685 -My heart's in my throat right now. -That's adrenaline. Kind of cool, isn't it? 376 00:23:56,997 --> 00:23:58,666 -I'll see you at the wedding. -What? 377 00:23:58,999 --> 00:24:01,669 -Angelica's Bakery, right? -Yeah. Right. 378 00:24:04,305 --> 00:24:07,541 I've decided to start wearing a tie every day. 379 00:24:07,675 --> 00:24:10,577 I could die at any moment. 380 00:24:11,412 --> 00:24:15,549 I thought it'd be nice to look my best for the grim reaper. 381 00:24:15,683 --> 00:24:18,285 Son of a bitch. 382 00:24:20,554 --> 00:24:22,723 You know what? Fuck him. 383 00:24:23,691 --> 00:24:25,292 Fuck him! 384 00:24:25,426 --> 00:24:28,162 Why give him the satisfaction? I'll do it myself. 385 00:24:28,295 --> 00:24:31,198 Take my own goddamn life. 386 00:24:33,133 --> 00:24:34,568 You know... 387 00:24:34,702 --> 00:24:36,704 You know what the real shame of it is, Kev? 388 00:24:37,037 --> 00:24:38,439 The real shame... 389 00:24:38,572 --> 00:24:43,711 ...is there are so many things I still want to do. 390 00:24:44,044 --> 00:24:45,579 Oh, yeah, like what? 391 00:24:47,448 --> 00:24:48,482 Pfft! 392 00:24:48,615 --> 00:24:51,618 Jesus Christ, I don't know. 393 00:24:51,752 --> 00:24:53,354 I don't know. 394 00:24:53,554 --> 00:24:57,491 How sad is that? A man doesn't even know what he wants to do. 395 00:24:57,624 --> 00:24:58,659 Woo-hoo-hoo! 396 00:24:58,992 --> 00:25:01,228 - Yeah, buddy. Yeah, buddy. - Hey. What's going on? 397 00:25:02,196 --> 00:25:04,331 -What's this? -You gotta wear it tonight... 398 00:25:04,465 --> 00:25:06,734 ...for the bachelor party. Everyone's gonna wear one. 399 00:25:07,067 --> 00:25:09,470 -Andy, get the fuck out... -Don't be a dick, dude. 400 00:25:09,603 --> 00:25:12,206 - Fucking wear it. - Bachelor party? 401 00:25:13,207 --> 00:25:15,743 Yeah, if you wanna go, you can come. 402 00:25:16,243 --> 00:25:18,112 What's the plan? 403 00:25:18,245 --> 00:25:21,081 Uh, me and my friends are gonna get wasted and do stupid shit. 404 00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:23,617 But we gotta get you one of these. 405 00:25:26,487 --> 00:25:28,188 Awesome. 406 00:25:29,356 --> 00:25:32,393 Is the blindfold for surprise or so I don't know where you live? 407 00:25:32,593 --> 00:25:34,595 - Little of both. - Ooh. 408 00:25:37,498 --> 00:25:39,700 -Ah. -Ta-da. 409 00:25:41,201 --> 00:25:42,636 Oh. 410 00:25:44,505 --> 00:25:46,240 Oh. 411 00:25:46,507 --> 00:25:49,410 Wow, yeah. This is your house. 412 00:25:49,610 --> 00:25:51,545 Where you live with Linda. 413 00:25:51,678 --> 00:25:54,782 -And the kids. -Right now, it's our house. 414 00:26:17,404 --> 00:26:20,808 -What's wrong? -Sorry, it's just... It's too weird. 415 00:26:21,141 --> 00:26:23,444 -What is? -All of your shit, it's... 416 00:26:23,644 --> 00:26:26,713 It's freaking me out. And it smells like goats in here. 417 00:26:26,847 --> 00:26:29,249 Ian, wait. 418 00:26:47,734 --> 00:26:50,437 Why would she do it in the first place? 419 00:26:50,571 --> 00:26:52,172 Because she could. 420 00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:55,576 She was, like, one of those weird Chinese acrobats. 421 00:26:55,709 --> 00:26:58,312 No, those girls are all tiny and cute when they do it. 422 00:26:58,445 --> 00:27:00,848 She was like Pippi Longstocking kissing her own ass. 423 00:27:02,349 --> 00:27:06,320 -Jesus. -Dad, what the hell happened to you? 424 00:27:06,453 --> 00:27:09,723 Cord was too long. I got three nuts. 425 00:27:09,857 --> 00:27:11,758 Gonna die. 426 00:27:34,748 --> 00:27:36,316 Fuck. 427 00:28:15,255 --> 00:28:18,292 -Marty? -Surprise, heh. 428 00:28:18,425 --> 00:28:20,961 I'm maid of honor and I didn't know you had a brother. 429 00:28:21,361 --> 00:28:23,830 -There's a reason for that. -He busted out of prison? 430 00:28:23,964 --> 00:28:25,933 -Last night. -What was he in for? 431 00:28:26,266 --> 00:28:30,270 -Aggravated assault, larceny and arson. -Arson? Who you talking about? 432 00:28:30,404 --> 00:28:31,538 V's brother. 433 00:28:31,672 --> 00:28:35,409 Oh, is that, like, a sibling brother, or just a black-guy brother? 434 00:28:35,542 --> 00:28:38,278 Remember the fire at Curves in the mall? That was him. 435 00:28:38,412 --> 00:28:40,948 He loves setting fire to things and he hates women. 436 00:28:41,281 --> 00:28:42,950 -It was the perfect storm. -He's nuts. 437 00:28:43,283 --> 00:28:46,687 Serious, he's nuts. He came at me. I had to fight my ass off. 438 00:28:46,820 --> 00:28:49,556 Then one time I'm having a brew, he came up to me, all: 439 00:28:49,690 --> 00:28:52,559 -"Ass cunt fuck!" on me. -Is he retarded? 440 00:28:52,693 --> 00:28:55,996 I wish. Tourette's coupled with bipolar disorder and a drinking problem. 441 00:28:56,396 --> 00:28:58,432 He's a shrink's wet dream. 442 00:28:58,832 --> 00:29:01,702 -What are we gonna do? -Kick his ass back to prison. 443 00:29:01,835 --> 00:29:05,872 If there's one person you can always count on to fuck things up, it's Marty. 444 00:29:06,006 --> 00:29:08,842 -Bungee jumping, eh? -From the L tracks. 445 00:29:08,976 --> 00:29:12,713 Good news/bad: Your biopsy results came back negative. 446 00:29:12,846 --> 00:29:16,450 Tumor was benign, so you're not gonna die of testicular cancer. 447 00:29:16,583 --> 00:29:21,455 Oh, thank God. So I can keep it? 448 00:29:21,588 --> 00:29:23,757 Yeah. The swelling on your brain... 449 00:29:23,890 --> 00:29:27,327 ...you probably got going on in there might end up doing you in. 450 00:29:27,461 --> 00:29:28,862 -What? -I'm fucking with you. 451 00:29:29,596 --> 00:29:31,598 Bump looks pretty superficial. 452 00:29:31,732 --> 00:29:34,601 If you vomit more than twice, have any seizures... 453 00:29:34,735 --> 00:29:37,504 ...or experience memory loss, call 911. 454 00:29:37,638 --> 00:29:43,343 Well, what if I vomit while I'm having a seizure, and have no memory of it? 455 00:29:43,477 --> 00:29:44,678 Tree in the forest, my friend. 456 00:29:46,346 --> 00:29:47,848 What? 457 00:29:51,018 --> 00:29:54,454 You know you can't stay, Marty. You gotta go back to prison. 458 00:29:54,888 --> 00:29:58,358 Ron, it's bullshit security. They practically give you your own key. 459 00:29:58,492 --> 00:30:00,894 Aren't you risking parole? How long do you have left? 460 00:30:01,028 --> 00:30:02,896 Eighteen... Cocksucker! ...months. 461 00:30:03,030 --> 00:30:06,366 -Jesus, Marty. That's no time at all. -It's your wedding day, Ron. 462 00:30:06,500 --> 00:30:08,902 Why don't you turn yourself in? Tell them it was a mistake. 463 00:30:09,036 --> 00:30:10,504 Blame the Tourette's. 464 00:30:10,637 --> 00:30:13,674 Tell them it won't happen again. You know it's for the best. 465 00:30:13,874 --> 00:30:15,509 Faggot! 466 00:30:16,043 --> 00:30:18,779 We'll have you back before they even know you left. 467 00:30:18,912 --> 00:30:20,514 I'm not going back, Ron. 468 00:30:20,647 --> 00:30:25,385 It's your wedding. I'm not gonna miss your... Shit-pisser! ...wedding day. 469 00:30:32,659 --> 00:30:34,561 This is the dress... 470 00:30:34,695 --> 00:30:37,664 ...that I will wear this afternoon. 471 00:30:39,533 --> 00:30:41,702 And it will protect me... 472 00:30:41,902 --> 00:30:44,071 ...like this house protects me. 473 00:30:44,805 --> 00:30:47,507 This is the dress. 474 00:30:47,974 --> 00:30:50,410 And today is the day. 475 00:30:50,544 --> 00:30:53,080 And the day is good. 476 00:30:53,413 --> 00:30:55,982 You look nice. Where are you pretending to go? 477 00:30:56,116 --> 00:30:59,086 I'm going to a wedding today. 478 00:30:59,686 --> 00:31:02,089 I am really gonna do it this time. 479 00:31:02,422 --> 00:31:05,692 And it's supposed to be a beautiful day today. 480 00:31:05,826 --> 00:31:09,996 Beautiful and safe and sunny. 481 00:31:10,130 --> 00:31:15,702 The sun's just a burning ball of fire that could plunge from the sky at any time. 482 00:31:20,941 --> 00:31:22,709 Maybe we should just let him come. 483 00:31:22,843 --> 00:31:25,445 No way, I'm not having that nutcase at my wedding. 484 00:31:25,579 --> 00:31:28,115 Can you imagine the service? "Do you, Veronica..." 485 00:31:28,448 --> 00:31:30,851 "Fucking bitch!" "...Fisher, take this man..." 486 00:31:32,386 --> 00:31:33,520 "Fucks dick!" 487 00:31:33,653 --> 00:31:34,988 "...Kevin Ball...?" Uh-uh, no. 488 00:31:35,122 --> 00:31:37,023 I'm taking him to prison where he belongs... 489 00:31:37,157 --> 00:31:39,059 ...if I gotta drag his ass back there myself. 490 00:31:39,393 --> 00:31:42,062 Always happens when he's off his meds. 491 00:31:43,063 --> 00:31:46,900 -Give me your dress so I can steam it. -Behind the door. 492 00:31:50,570 --> 00:31:53,673 -Nope. -The bathroom door. 493 00:31:54,074 --> 00:31:56,410 It's a real pretty dress, Roni. 494 00:31:58,412 --> 00:32:00,680 It'll burn nicely with all this taffeta. 495 00:32:02,582 --> 00:32:03,950 Oh, Jesus. 496 00:32:04,084 --> 00:32:05,552 You send me back to jail... 497 00:32:05,685 --> 00:32:08,822 ...this dress goes up, this house goes up, we all go up! 498 00:32:10,424 --> 00:32:11,958 Marty? 499 00:32:12,092 --> 00:32:13,960 Marty, open the door. 500 00:32:14,094 --> 00:32:15,962 Open the goddamn door. 501 00:32:16,096 --> 00:32:18,698 You're not getting married without me. 502 00:32:19,599 --> 00:32:21,435 Cock fuck! 503 00:32:24,004 --> 00:32:27,908 He's not doing anything. Just sitting in there. Lighting a lighter. 504 00:32:28,041 --> 00:32:30,944 Oh, my God, this is what he did at Granddaddy's funeral. 505 00:32:31,111 --> 00:32:33,647 -Gutted half the hospice. -We should call the cops. 506 00:32:33,780 --> 00:32:36,583 If the house goes up we're not gonna get him out. 507 00:32:36,716 --> 00:32:38,185 Call the cops on my own brother? 508 00:32:38,518 --> 00:32:41,221 It's always like this. Nobody can be the center of attention. 509 00:32:41,555 --> 00:32:44,191 It's always gotta be about him. You should be in a nuthouse! 510 00:32:44,524 --> 00:32:45,592 What's going on? 511 00:32:45,725 --> 00:32:47,661 Veronica's brother is threatening... 512 00:32:47,794 --> 00:32:49,830 -...to burn the place down. -Cool. 513 00:32:49,963 --> 00:32:54,568 He's saying that he's gonna light the dress and the shit-sack house on fire. 514 00:32:54,734 --> 00:32:56,603 What's a shit-sack? 515 00:32:56,736 --> 00:33:01,475 All I wanted was to own my own home. Maybe some small kitchen appliances. 516 00:33:01,641 --> 00:33:03,743 For you, for me. For our home. 517 00:33:03,877 --> 00:33:07,214 -Maybe some kids someday. -I thought you didn't want any kids. 518 00:33:07,547 --> 00:33:09,816 -Based on what? -Saying how much you hate them. 519 00:33:09,950 --> 00:33:11,685 Uh, yeah, other people's. 520 00:33:11,818 --> 00:33:14,554 But I might not mind having a baby Kev running round. 521 00:33:14,688 --> 00:33:16,223 A little tomorrow person? 522 00:33:17,157 --> 00:33:18,225 What? 523 00:33:18,558 --> 00:33:21,628 That's what I call little mixed-race babies. Tomorrow people. 524 00:33:21,761 --> 00:33:24,164 Little people of tomorrow. 525 00:33:25,565 --> 00:33:27,167 What are we gonna do? 526 00:33:27,501 --> 00:33:30,103 -Maybe we should just call it off. -No! Not a chance. 527 00:33:30,237 --> 00:33:32,172 Baby, listen, this is our time. 528 00:33:32,506 --> 00:33:36,109 We're gonna get fake married, and nothing's gonna stop us. 529 00:33:40,180 --> 00:33:44,251 -Tomorrow people? -Tomorrow people. 530 00:33:49,155 --> 00:33:51,525 Can you sign in for me at detention today? 531 00:33:51,691 --> 00:33:53,860 Mrs. Pinder won't notice, she's almost blind. 532 00:33:53,994 --> 00:33:55,262 You ditching? 533 00:33:55,595 --> 00:33:57,864 Kash has something planned. 534 00:33:57,998 --> 00:33:59,799 I thought that was last night. 535 00:33:59,933 --> 00:34:03,003 Was supposed to be, but, uh, he took me to his place... 536 00:34:03,136 --> 00:34:04,804 ...and it sort of freaked me out. 537 00:34:04,938 --> 00:34:09,676 I mean, I always knew he had a wife and a life and everything, but seeing it... 538 00:34:09,809 --> 00:34:11,144 ...and smelling it... 539 00:34:11,278 --> 00:34:14,047 I mean, his life actually has an odor. 540 00:34:18,785 --> 00:34:20,153 What was that for? 541 00:34:20,287 --> 00:34:23,156 I just felt like kissing my boyfriend. 542 00:34:23,924 --> 00:34:27,027 Have fun fucking Kash. 543 00:34:39,806 --> 00:34:41,775 Remember when we were little? 544 00:34:41,908 --> 00:34:45,345 And you'd always tag along with me wherever I went? 545 00:34:46,179 --> 00:34:48,915 I always looked after you, didn't I, Marty? 546 00:34:49,916 --> 00:34:51,818 And you know why? 547 00:34:52,218 --> 00:34:54,321 Because I'm your big little sister. 548 00:34:54,654 --> 00:34:58,091 And I didn't want you to get in trouble, because I love you. 549 00:34:58,959 --> 00:35:01,061 That's why I want you to go back to prison. 550 00:35:04,230 --> 00:35:05,966 Do you know what? 551 00:35:06,366 --> 00:35:09,803 I've been thinking about my wedding, and you know something? 552 00:35:09,936 --> 00:35:11,771 You were right. 553 00:35:12,238 --> 00:35:15,675 Because my wedding day wouldn't be my wedding day... 554 00:35:15,809 --> 00:35:17,978 ...without my little big brother there. 555 00:35:22,349 --> 00:35:26,786 In fact, I'd like you to be the one to give me away. 556 00:35:28,822 --> 00:35:30,256 Marty? 557 00:35:37,397 --> 00:35:40,266 -You mean it? -Cross my heart. 558 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,235 Come here, you little nut. 559 00:35:48,008 --> 00:35:51,745 Bitches! You bitches lied to me. 560 00:35:52,712 --> 00:35:56,116 I'm gonna burn down your... Cock-sucking, cock-fucking... 561 00:36:10,397 --> 00:36:12,732 Damn. That shit does dry fast. 562 00:36:24,844 --> 00:36:26,179 Lip. My boy. 563 00:36:26,312 --> 00:36:30,417 -My oldest boy. -Yeah, here to pick up Karen. 564 00:36:30,750 --> 00:36:34,320 -What's with the vest? -Sheils made it. 565 00:36:36,189 --> 00:36:38,058 Wow. Look at you. 566 00:36:38,191 --> 00:36:40,026 -You look beautiful. -Thanks. 567 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:41,327 - Hi, Lip. - Hi. 568 00:36:41,461 --> 00:36:43,296 Does my head look bigger? 569 00:36:44,431 --> 00:36:45,432 Um... 570 00:36:45,765 --> 00:36:49,302 -I don't think it can get any bigger, Dad. -I have to keep an eye on it. 571 00:36:49,436 --> 00:36:52,772 -Watch for memory loss and vomit. -More so than usual? 572 00:36:52,906 --> 00:36:54,174 Know what? 573 00:36:54,307 --> 00:36:56,810 -I have a second chance at life. -Mm-hm. 574 00:36:56,943 --> 00:37:00,346 I'm not gonna surround myself with negative energy. 575 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:04,784 How about you just show up at this wedding, do what you do best? 576 00:37:04,918 --> 00:37:07,087 Drink free booze and look happy. 577 00:37:07,287 --> 00:37:09,989 -Yes? -Heh. 578 00:37:10,123 --> 00:37:13,359 All right, Frank. I am ready. 579 00:37:13,493 --> 00:37:14,794 You're coming, Mom? 580 00:37:14,928 --> 00:37:16,196 She's not going anywhere. 581 00:37:16,329 --> 00:37:17,497 Yes, I'm coming. 582 00:37:17,831 --> 00:37:21,935 I've got my purse, and my gift, and my gloves. 583 00:37:22,068 --> 00:37:25,371 And my selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor. 584 00:37:25,505 --> 00:37:28,241 And my monoamine oxidase inhibitor. 585 00:37:28,374 --> 00:37:31,811 And I have my anti-anxiety disco biscuits. 586 00:37:31,945 --> 00:37:37,117 And I am ready to go. I am really ready. 587 00:37:54,768 --> 00:37:57,270 I'll just get you a piece of cake, Mom. 588 00:38:06,980 --> 00:38:08,982 That would just be... 589 00:38:10,016 --> 00:38:11,317 ...wonderful, sweetheart. 590 00:38:11,451 --> 00:38:14,554 There's just so much I've gotta get done here. 591 00:38:28,802 --> 00:38:30,470 Ah, that bitch. 592 00:38:30,804 --> 00:38:34,474 What kind of cock-suck does this to her brother? 593 00:38:47,020 --> 00:38:49,422 May daily problems never cause you undue anxiety... 594 00:38:49,556 --> 00:38:53,193 ...nor the desire for earthly possessions dominate your lives. 595 00:38:53,927 --> 00:38:57,597 But may your hearts' first desire be always the good things... 596 00:38:57,931 --> 00:39:00,300 ...waiting for you in the life of heaven. 597 00:39:00,433 --> 00:39:02,502 - Amen. - Amen! 598 00:39:02,836 --> 00:39:05,104 - You may kiss the bride. - Woo-hoo! 599 00:39:13,179 --> 00:39:14,347 Oh, yes! 600 00:39:14,514 --> 00:39:16,182 Yay! 601 00:39:16,449 --> 00:39:19,118 It's on tonight Ride that thing like a motorbike 602 00:39:19,252 --> 00:39:20,854 Get it out! 603 00:39:21,020 --> 00:39:22,989 We could get it on the dance floor 604 00:39:24,457 --> 00:39:26,993 Go down. Go down. Go down. 605 00:39:27,126 --> 00:39:28,194 Yeah! 606 00:39:28,328 --> 00:39:29,329 Bring it on! 607 00:39:31,197 --> 00:39:32,932 What's going on? 608 00:39:33,066 --> 00:39:34,234 Get some, Father! 609 00:39:41,241 --> 00:39:43,376 Come on, Dad, work it. 610 00:39:43,509 --> 00:39:46,479 Go Liam! Go Liam! Go Liam! 611 00:39:46,613 --> 00:39:48,982 Say what you gotta say 612 00:39:49,115 --> 00:39:51,618 Take it down, take it down. 613 00:39:52,151 --> 00:39:53,887 Take me away 614 00:39:54,053 --> 00:39:56,623 Say what you gotta say 615 00:40:00,126 --> 00:40:02,161 Oh! 616 00:40:02,495 --> 00:40:04,230 If I was out of your reach 617 00:40:04,364 --> 00:40:06,165 Would you jump for it? 618 00:40:08,301 --> 00:40:11,971 If I was out of your reach Would you jump for it? 619 00:40:13,473 --> 00:40:16,509 Uh... Folks, let's face facts. 620 00:40:16,643 --> 00:40:20,380 When it comes to good things, most of them come in pairs. 621 00:40:20,513 --> 00:40:25,385 Like your favorite jeans, new socks, and Kevin and Veronica. 622 00:40:25,518 --> 00:40:26,586 Aw. 623 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,989 And as it turns out, most people's testicles. 624 00:40:30,123 --> 00:40:33,993 So here's to the happy couple. 625 00:40:34,127 --> 00:40:37,997 Kevin, Veronica, may you always only have... 626 00:40:38,131 --> 00:40:41,434 ...two testicles between you. L'chaim! 627 00:40:46,272 --> 00:40:49,142 Oh. Oh, sweetheart. 628 00:40:49,275 --> 00:40:52,612 May the good Lord watch over you in your new home. 629 00:40:52,946 --> 00:40:56,349 -Oh, thank you, Mama. -Thank you. 630 00:40:56,716 --> 00:40:58,685 Say it like you mean it, boy 631 00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:01,020 Say it like you want it 632 00:41:01,154 --> 00:41:04,123 Five hundred dollars? Are you fucking kidding me? 633 00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:10,029 We're getting a Barbie house, baby. 634 00:41:11,364 --> 00:41:15,168 Maybe you're making yourself too available? 635 00:41:15,301 --> 00:41:16,302 You think? 636 00:41:16,436 --> 00:41:19,305 Hey, lady friend, where the hell is my cake? 637 00:41:19,439 --> 00:41:23,042 Steve is supposed to be here with the damn thing. 638 00:41:23,176 --> 00:41:25,211 That's the trouble with the exciting ones. 639 00:41:25,345 --> 00:41:28,214 The unpredictability is what makes them so exciting. 640 00:41:28,348 --> 00:41:32,118 But it's also what makes them so damned unpredictable. 641 00:41:32,251 --> 00:41:35,722 He may not be Steve, but he's here. 642 00:41:40,626 --> 00:41:42,762 -Hi. -Hi. 643 00:41:43,096 --> 00:41:44,998 Do you wanna dance? 644 00:41:45,164 --> 00:41:48,634 -The Bible is the word of God. -How can it be the word of God... 645 00:41:48,768 --> 00:41:52,338 -...if it was re-written by King James? -Passed down from generation... 646 00:41:52,472 --> 00:41:55,341 -...to generation! - Uh-uh-uh! It doesn't make any sense! 647 00:41:55,475 --> 00:42:00,146 Aw. This was really a perfect day. 648 00:42:00,279 --> 00:42:03,683 I only wish little Marty could have been here. 649 00:42:22,135 --> 00:42:23,669 Let's get a cab. 650 00:42:35,314 --> 00:42:38,184 You're late, Dr. Sherman. 651 00:42:46,793 --> 00:42:48,561 I'm s... 652 00:42:50,163 --> 00:42:52,165 I can't... 653 00:42:53,533 --> 00:42:58,304 Okay, Gallaghers, you're the only family I got, so let's put this on film. 654 00:43:01,407 --> 00:43:02,575 -Wait. Wait. -Is it on? 655 00:43:02,708 --> 00:43:05,678 -It's on, it's on. Wait. -Did it go? 656 00:43:06,446 --> 00:43:07,747 All: Oh. 657 00:43:09,415 --> 00:43:11,317 Set it up again. Here we go. Ready? 658 00:43:11,451 --> 00:43:12,585 - Okay. - Let's go. 659 00:43:15,721 --> 00:43:18,157 -Wait, where's Lip? -Where...? Oh. 660 00:43:18,324 --> 00:43:19,826 Yeah. 661 00:43:20,159 --> 00:43:21,828 Oh, yeah. 662 00:43:22,161 --> 00:43:24,597 Oh, yeah. Give it to me. Oh, yeah. 663 00:43:25,698 --> 00:43:28,868 Oh, yeah. Yeah! Oh, yeah! Give it to me! 664 00:43:29,202 --> 00:43:30,670 -Want me to give it to you? -Yes. 665 00:43:31,370 --> 00:43:33,573 Yeah, she said she wants you to give it to her. 666 00:43:33,706 --> 00:43:36,309 So just give it to her already! Okay? 667 00:43:36,442 --> 00:43:38,377 Heh, heh. Cock and balls! 668 00:43:59,799 --> 00:44:03,336 It really was like a fairy tale. 669 00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:11,244 And she was a real princess. 670 00:44:12,745 --> 00:44:14,614 Yeah, well, she's dead now. 671 00:44:14,747 --> 00:44:17,617 How's that for happily ever after? 672 00:44:23,489 --> 00:44:24,524 Asshole.